Pre-Uni Stress

First things first: I got into Warwick University.

Wahey!

Before writing this post I actually scrolled back a bit and found my post from when I visited the establishment with my parents. I had called it my "dream uni" and I am so grateful that they accepted me and I got the entry requirements for my course!

On the 18th, results' day, my Facebook feed was filled with posts from my friends publishing which unis they got into. It was an exciting experience for all - and those who may not have obtained their first choice still managed to find some great places through Clearing. Fast forward a week, and those who are going to uni all have a firm knowledge of where they will be spending the next three or so years of their lives.

Once knowing their universities,  many students joined their appropriate uni Facebook group and started group chats with their peers. I had previously joined several of these chats and made acquaintances with many on my course. However, due to my current lack of Internet  (I have to travel to the next village in order to get Wifi from the local café), I'm unable to be constantly online and replying to messages. Therefore, my friendships have become frail, to say the least.

Just this afternoon, I quickly checked the group chat, and found out all the participants had bonded with each other - a lot. The whole chat seemed to have their own inside jokes and nicknames with each other. I was but an onlooker to their little world. They were already meeting up with one another, and had planned outings as a group in order to create memories before studying at uni together.

This made me feel quite sad, and above all, lonely. It's fairly pathetic and melodramatic that I write this all on my blog, and I pray to the Heavens Above that none of these people were to find my blog. However, their closeness has only made me feel more distant from them. I have been, unintentionally, excluded from their tight knit. I feel alone before even starting uni.

I have to keep reminding myself that there are others out there who will be freshers,  like myself, who may have not even been part of this group chat and they too will have no friends on the first day. Even so, my mind is filled with panic about what's to come. The biggest fear is of course that of solitude. I'll be away from home, from my parents, from my boyfriend. My friends will be off at uni getting a whole new set of friends, and the little voice in my head tells me that they'll no doubt forget all about me. What's more, I'll be away from safety and where I feel comfortable. However, I ought to keep reminding myself that growth comes with going outside one's comfort zone. I will be able to push myself into situations which are different and thus exciting. I will find a new people, and new activities to occupy myself. I really ought to embrace this opportunity. And get a grip.