Monday, 4 February 2019

Second Term, Third Year


As I fly over the English Channel on my way to Spain, I take a look back on my life these past few years. I remember that when I was younger, I always dreamt of being able to travel extensively. I would follow all these celebrities who jetted off from one destination to another, wishing that that would one day be me.

My lifestyle has drastically changed since going to university. Not only do I feel that I have matured a lot, but the independence that I have gained from leaving the protection of my family cocoon appears significant. Whilst I am still a Daddy’s Little Girl, I’ve moved away from that timid, sheltered girl I used to be, and I am very grateful for this transgression. I find that I am forming my own judgements, questioning conventions and challenging authorities, and rather than this deriving from my previous teenage rebellion, I find that it is just another sign of my ability to think independently.

Through daily journaling, I have come to the conclusion that some of the greatest experiences that I have acquired have been because I did not follow protocol. One of my earliest jobs was gained through me going up to the CEO of Enterprise and Skills Challenge and offering up my language skills. It was a move that I was nervous about, undoubtedly - I was 17 at the time. However, I couldn’t dwell on this sensation for long as there were only few split seconds before she got off the school’s podium and moved to the school’s office. I knew that if I wanted to talk, I had to do it then. A month later, I found myself giving a speech to 60+ secondary students in London, encouraging them to pick up a language. 

In a way, that job was my first step towards independent travelling. The company would drive me to different destinations around the country and I got a taste for living independently. I saw places with a new, adult gaze, and sought to be curious about everything. I learnt to become responsible for myself, too, not needing the assistance of mum and dad as much. Travelling with the company meant learning to time manage my academic life around my work life, as well as any social commitments that I had. The Bank of Mum and Dad also was less necessary, as my bank account came to be sufficient for me to buy any trivial — that caught my fancy. This, as it comes to be, included travelling.


As I land in Malaga ready for the second term of my year abroad, I am served a cocktail of nerves, anxiety and apprehension. The overbearing uncertainty of the future is always something which has sent me into a frenzy before any grand new change in my life. However, I need to remind myself to check in with myself - I’m going to be spending the next five months of my life living in the South of Spain, a few minutes away from the beach, and with endless opportunities ahead of me. This is the life that I wanted and that manifested for myself, and for this opportunity, I am forever grateful.

Yours,


Friday, 1 February 2019

How To Travel on a Students' Budget

Greece


Countless are the times that my friends and followers have messaged asking me how and why I travel so much. I take it as a compliment and truth be told it’s one that I enjoy receiving. I am constantly challenging myself on a daily basis to try new things and seek out new experiences; travelling just happens t fall under this category. Truth be told, I don’t exactly hide the fact that I travel extensively. Just like the average millennial, I am always posting my whereabouts online. However, I don’t do this to show off or to flex on the haters. Instead, I do it to inspire others to travel the globe and discover what this beautiful world has to offer.

Travelling is often made out to be a complex palace involving a ton of expenses, logistics and time to plan the perfect holiday. However, it doesn’t have to be any of the above. In first year, in the midst of my final exams, my boyfriend and I broke up. My friend and I decided to plan a holiday, and a week later, we were on a flight to Tenerife. The travel cost us 20€ return each, our AirBnB came to 30€ for both nights and food was cheap when we avoided the tourist traps. All in all, the three-day trip cost me around 80€ which I think is relatively cheap, especially considering that some people can spend 80€ on three nights out clubbing. This brings me to my first tip.

Barcelona




#1 Tip: Budget mindfully
In other words, think about compromises. Maybe one night you’ll have one pint instead of two. Put that money aside into your savings towards your holiday. I personally use this online banking app called Monzo. I too of showing me where my spending goes each month, it also automatically rounds up my pennies to the nearest pound and puts that money aside into my savings that I’ll use on my next holiday.

#2 Sign Up to Marketing Emails
I know that there is massive controversy about how much Google really knows about us. I, personally, adore my customised adverts as it always shows me what I want to see, but this is a story for another time. The reason why I always get the best deals in terms of prices is because I sign up to marketing emails. Ryanair is great for them as they often have very cheap flights from £5. The only catch is that they’re often from Stansted (an awkward airport if there ever was one) and at inconvenient times. I remember having to catch at 8AM flight to Berlin with one of my friends and having to sleep on the floor just so that we could make it on time. 

#3 Don’t expect luxury
Something to bear in mind when travelling in budget ; your life isn’t always going to be luxury. Sometimes you’ll have to go out of your comfort zone and so-called “rough it”, and that should be fine. We’re going, we’re penniless, and we have a passion for studying. 

Dubai


Just on a side note: although I am telling you all how to save money when travelling, never risk your safety. If you’re walking home late at night, it’s best to get a taxi back, rather than walking some unfamiliar streets. This is especially relevant for people in a foreign country and if you don’t speak the local language. If you ever feel in any kind of danger, ask for help and stay in areas where it is well lit with people around you. Always have emergency phone numbers for the local area that you can access easily, too. 

Berlin


Now that I have covered the basics, I want to discuss my personal journey, starting from October 2017. This was my trip to Berlin, where I found dirt cheap tickets from Stansted. The three-day trip cost no more than £120, including eating out and going out money. 
My next trip was for my 20th birthday to Barcelona with my boyfriend. We chose an AirBnB slightly out of the centre which saved a lot of money in terms of accommodation. We got a travel pass to travel around, which we would have done anyway even if we lived in the centre. 
Over Easter, I went to Bordeaux to check out the university that I would be attending the following year. 
Over Summer, I grabbed a lifetime opportunity. I became one of the five student ambassadors chosen to travel around the UK in order to advertise the #StudentArtPass. All my expenses were covered and I was paid on top of this. It was one of the most insightful trips of my life, and I again received a lot of messages about this. If it weren’t for me seeking out the opportunity and applying, I’d never had had this experience. Therefore, another tip would be to keep an eye out for job offers and opportunity that involve travelling. Personally, after I graduate I hope to work abroad so that I can travel and still earn money. I did this over summer when I moved to London for an internship. I consider my hometown to be Bournemouth, so loving in the capital was great fun for me.

London


Last but not least, it was actually compulsory as part of my degree to take a year out to study abroad. If you haven’t read or watched my blog on this, do follow this link here. But I’d highly recommend choosing a course whereby you take a year to live and study in a foreign country. I’ve personally loved and learnt a lot about myself during this time. I was even able to travel whilst abroad, taking trips around France and across the border to Spain. Remember, as always, to budget, find cheap deals and stay safe.


Thank you for reading and safe travels.

Yours,

Sunday, 6 January 2019

University, Summer in London and Living Abroad | 2018 in a Nutshell



Dragging five suitcases across Lille's poorly signposted train stations was not the glamorous way I expected my French term to end. My seemingly sensible choice of booking the Eurostar back to the UK in order for me to carry all of my purchases now appeared rather irrational as this resulted in having to pause every few steps to take a break. It took me about 10MINS to walk 100 metres from Lille's main station to the International Station - a drab, open airspace, which appeared so unwelcoming that part of me was glad to be heading home. However, as I barricaded myself in my seat with luggage towering around me, I couldn't help but smile at the memories that I had collected in the past six months.

The third term of university was a blur to me. I got into a somewhat insane routine where my flatmates and I would wake up at 6:30AM, walk through Spoons to grab a breakfast-to-go and catch the 7AM bus into campus and be sat down by 7:45AM ready to study. Even then the library would be filling up and the closer to exam season the harder it became to find a spot. We'd stay in the library until about 10PM, only having breaks to talk about how stressed we were and how we wanted to cry. We were fueled by panic, a fear of failure, and a great deal of coffee. We'd all picked up smoking in dire attempt to subdue our stress levels, not clicking the Menthols if we really wanted that hoarse voice the next day. It was a time of sheer exhaustion but also a huge adrenaline rush that kept us powering on. Our being felt so purposeful. It felt like I was truly working on my future, and towards my long-term goals.



Out of my friendship group, I finished my exams first. As usual, I had applied for some summer schemes, and this time I was lucky enough to be selected in order to participate in one of the best organisations that I have ever been part of. ArtFund is an independent British charity which raises funds in order to support artwork. It also offers a National Art Pass for students, which enables young people to visit famous museums either free or at a discounted price. I was one of five students around the UK who were selected in order to promote the pass in time for the Museum of the Year Awards, which would be held in the Victoria and Albert Museum. My four other friends and I travelled, with all expenses paid, from London to Glasgow to Hull down to Cornwall and back to London again. We took photos and posted them on our social media, showcasing all the activities that each museum put on for us. It was an amazing experience as I got to meet so many interesting people who were so passionate about art and with whom I could have deep conversations with about the meaning and history of each piece.





It wasn't long after I came back from the trip that I was packing my bags up from Leamington to head off to London. Little did I know that this summer would be the best one of my life so far. I was fortunate enough to have been offered a room in Kew - acquired through a friend of a friend. Michael was a very kind man 0 I always refer to him as the granddad that I never had. My nine to five job took up the majority of my day, but whenever I came home, he would always be there to have a cup of tea and a chinwag. This would often turn into an hour-long conversation, covering any topic from Lucian Freud to the meaning of life. Interning was a whole new experience for me. I thought that I would spend my days making coffee and be anyone's dog's body, yet by the end of my two-month placement, I was the first point of call for anything related to Marketing. Whilst it got quite stressful or tiring, to say the least, I did fill all my spare time with fun activities. The first few weeks were spent getting my bearings around London. I'd visit central, and all of London's tourist attractions. However, the novelty soon wore off. It was then that I began new activities, such as attending conferences, meeting new people and especially my favourite activity which was trying new restaurants. I truly believe that three-quarters of my spending money went on food. I split my time 50/50, living partially at Michael's, and partially in Wandsworth, at my at-the-time boyfriend's house. I had an incredible amount of freedom. I was living in the buzzing capital, with a decent income and endless opportunities. It truly pained me to leave, but when the time came, my boss threw a wonderful leaving party for me on his boat that was docked on the Thames - so it wasn't all that bad.


Ho*, my boyfriend, took me to the airport when I left. Although we arrived over two hours early, our parting was so emotional that I ended up only passing through security at the time my flight was due to leave! Thankfully, I was travelling with Ryanair, so the flight was late anyway. Ha ha.

Having my parents waiting to collect me from the other side was a delightful moment. I hadn't seen my mother since before moving to London, and I hadn't seen my father since Easter. I spent a few days in Ginoles, my hometown, recovering and having some much-needed parent-child time. A few days later, they drove me and dropped me off 368km North West, to Bordeaux, where I would be spending three and a half months on my Erasmus exchange.



The hardest part of my time in France was not, as I imagined, making friends. For all of those who follow my blogs, you'll know that this is often my number one fear. The hardest part of my time in France was, in fact, finding enough time to do all the things that I wanted to do with my friends (shock!). Along with my 21-hour week at university, I also wanted to explore everything Bordeaux had to offer. From museums to art galleries, to private launch parties - I would want to do them all. It wasn't just a need, but a thirst to grow. Within the first couple of days at university, I established a friendship group of 10 girls and 1 guy, which stayed solidified throughout the time there. We did everything together. I had never had a friendship like this before. I had always shied away from big friendship groups, since my last one in Year 9 was not the best of experiences, as the people were extremely toxic and I suffered severe bullying from it. Therefore, whilst cautious at first, I realised that having a supportive group like this was an amazing feeling. We were all very outgoing girls, which meant that we'd always plan to do new things every week. Whether visiting Christmas markets or nipping down to Spain for a few days, my agenda was always jam-packed.

You can therefore understand why I crashed when I returned to Bournemouth, my family home. I have been so on the go the past few months that now that I don't have activities planned, my body has gone into complete shutdown. I'm currently allowing myself time to recover - a well-deserved break. Until 4 days time, of course, when I'm off on a new adventure. Next stop? Dubai.

Yours,


Sunday, 11 March 2018

March Blog



I always explain these moods as 'waves'. Sometimes I'll be myself, or whom I consider my 'true' self to be: a bubbly, confident girl who is full of energy and positivity.

Sometimes, however, I'm like how I am today.

It's hard to express how I feel, which makes it hard to know how I can 'fix' this feeling. I'm not lost, but I also feel that I do not have a direction or purpose at the moment. I feel that I am floating through life, on a cloud made of marshmellows, a bit of a sticky situation but also a bit too comfortable in being there.

As many of you might know, the University of Warwick is one of the 61 universities to strike due to the staff pensions protest. This isn't going to be a blog about that, however, but a blog about how the students are affected by this. Focusing on me (of course, the owner and subject of all these blogs hahaha...).

After returning from Reading Week, the strikes immediately affected me. I had already had a week 'off', with what I would consider a well-deserved break, but I was well rested during this period and I was in the right mindset to come back to study. However, things didn't turn out the way I expected them to unfold. Whilst the first week of the strikes felt like a 'normal' week, as the days went on, more and more of my teachers wouldn't turn up to the lessons, only sending us a rushed email the day before apologising for the delay and telling us why they were striking. What interested me the most was that in these emails were no notes on what work we could do to fill our time, nor any hints that our classes would be rearranged. I told my Father this, who was outraged by one of the top universities to be running this way.

At first, I didn't mind the time off. It meant that I had more spare time to study and catch up on work, but now that I have done this, I'm feeling quite lost. It's not that I would enjoy a full 8 hour schoolday like I was put through in secondary school (oh, the trauma!), but I would also very much appreciate a structure to my days. It has felt like an extended-weekend, one that drags on for a suspicious amount of time. It has made me, as a person, extremely lazy. I wake up late, potter about the house for a bit, see my flatmates and before I know it, it's half midnight and time to go back to sleep, just to repeat the whole thing over again the next day.

It has become tiresome, and it has made me realise the importance of structure in one's life. It has been said that Monday mornings are only a bother to those who do not enjoy their job, and I can completely agree with that statement. Whilst getting up at 7:30AM is a pain, at least it means that I am out of the house by 8:00AM to get to my class. It means that I am being productive with my life, and that my commitments give my life structure and purpose. Weil once stated that one of the key requirements for having a fulfilled life is the idea that one has a purpose. One is appreciated for what one does, and one is acknowledged for one's contributions. What am I contributing when I am lazing around in my bed all day long? Absolutely nothing.

Let's share my unpopular opinion: I like attending my seminars and lectures. I like going to university, just as much as I enjoyed going to school every day from Monday to Friday. I like having structure to my life, and I like being an educational environment because I feel like I have a purpose when I am answering questions in my classes. I clearly remember my schoolmates complaining about school, yet I would be that person who would confidently state that they loved school, and were grateful for being in school. I obviously got snears, but what we ought to remember is that we should be grateful for having the opportunity to learn. Others, even in the 21st century, do not have the chance to go to school, let alone university. Therefore, I scorn on those who miss their seminars in order to lie in or play videogames. It is only in times when I do not have my classes that I realise that they are of the utmost importance in my life, and how grateful I must be to have the opportunity to attend classes which inspire me, intellectually stimulate me and open my mind the vast ideas and opinions of the world.

Yours,

Thursday, 28 September 2017

Second Year



Wooohoooo - it's nearly been a week since I moved into my flat in Leamington Spa and I'm loving it. Uni has yet to start but I'm very grateful for having been given time to settle into the surrounding area before starting university straight away. I've had time to unpack, buy my bus pass, and see a few friends that I hadn't seen since before summer.

Leamington Spa is the residential area that most Warwick students will flock to for their intermediate and final years. Whilst it is indeed 7 miles away from the main campus, it has everything one could wish for in a small town. I've already been to several cafés, bars, and I have even signed up to the local library!

The idea of now being a 'second year' is quite daunting for me. A silly fresher no more, and with a stack of imaginary work already piling up, I'm not too sure how I'm going to keep the balance between my academic life and personal life. I already feel quite inundated by a number of chores I have to carry out for the societies that I am part of. (SIDENOTE: I know 'of' isn't meant to go at the end of the sentence, so how can I rearrange this? help a girl out). I call Dad on a daily basis and he does seem awfully worried that I'm focusing too much on extracurricular activities rather than my studies and expanding my vocabulary. Nevertheless, I'm going to keep on doing my thing and see how it all pans out, especially as this Monday is the first day of my Freshers' Fortnight and there will be a lot going on society wise and not so much going on academically as the professors will give us time to settle in...surely?

Anyway, that's all for today folks. I'm off for a nice big breakfast at Coffee Architects with one of my good friends on my course. See you soon!

Yours,



Friday, 1 September 2017

ANNOUNCEMENTS !!



Hey y'ahll. Got some exciting news, and everything's been happening so fast that I haven't even had time to write about it in my journal, let alone blog about it on here. I'm going to do this in bullet points too, just to make it easier for you and myself to read through.

1) Sponsoring
If you know me in real life you'll know that I absolutely adore the Law of Attraction and try and use it as much as possible in life. The main idea is that if you positively think about something and meditate on what you want to achieve, the universe will respond and give it to you. When I have set my mind on something, I am often blessed with a response and I don't know how to explain it logically, but it happens. With this in mind, I have been recently wanting to get a sponsorship off of a brand in order to be able to create new and exciting content for a project I have planned. On Tuesday, I got an offer from not just one, but two companies asking me to promo their products. I can't wait to get started and order some of the stuff. New content arriving sooooon!

2) Chine Hotel
All good things must come to an end, and with this in mind, I have decided to leave one of my summer jobs. Although I loved working on reception, I need some time off before returning to university. I have some unfinished projects that I need to see off, as well as a lot of catching up on sleep. I emailed my boss yesterday about it and he said some very sweet comments about my 'kindness and absolutely outstanding customer service', which was very nice to hear.

3) Leamington Flat
So as you all know, I'm now a second year Warwick student *say whaaat*. My friend Jovita* has just moved in today and it's all super exciting as she's sending a ton of photos on the Whatsapp group chat. I've already bagsied my room and I cannot wait to move in later this month! It's my first 'real' place of my own, and I'll have to learn all about payments and bills, which brings me onto my next bullet point...

4) Fused Bills
Your girl only went and got herself a position blogging for Fused Bills! Although this is unpaid, I feel that this is a really great opportunity for me to show off some of my blogging skills, and it really ties in with what I am hoping to do in the future in terms of career. I already work for my university as a blogger, which I am paid for so obviously would be my priority, but I just feel so blessed that I have been given another page for me to write on. A lot of the posts that I write for Warwick are shared on their official Facebook and Twitter accounts and for me, this is such good encouragement for me to work even harder!

And that about sums up this blog post! Thank you so much for all the lovely messages and love, see you soon :)

Yours,

Saturday, 26 August 2017

No dayz off



It's been just over a month that I've been working seven days a week, and the work load has really started to affect me. I'm drinking more and more coffee and spend my free waking hours complaining about how tired I am. When people ask what I have been up to I just start to complain about working seven days a week. My conversation varies from guests I've dealt with, to the different ways I reduce stock. I have become this broken record that just spews negative, negative, negative.

I say I'm tired, but what I need to do is reframe this statement - or at least, explain myself a bit more. I'm tired because of the long hours and the different energies I come across each day which mixes with my own personal aura. I have no time for myself, for growing, for all the books piling up on my...Kindle.

What I'm not tired of, however, is the buzz of it all. I love being busy. I love having to rush from one place to another. It provides me with a kind of excitement no roller coaster could ever give me. It makes me feel like I have a purpose, a place to be, a task that needs to be completed. I actually take satisfaction from saying that I work seven days a week and haven't had a day off since I started. It makes me proud of myself for working for my future self.

Yours,


Wednesday, 2 August 2017

Clean Slate



A clean slate does everything it says on the tin.

New beginnings are easy once you accept that the time is right. Everything in life happens for a reason, and everything that happens is a lesson to be learnt.

This is meant to be my personal blog where I share my experiences with you, but how is hearing about my Sunday lunch of any relevance to you? I found that writing on here became a burden, rather than a place for me to escape where I could just be myself. Originally, I intended this to be my 'safe space', and I hope that this goal will be achieved by starting afresh.

I want you to be writing directly to you, my readers. I don't want this to be like the other blogging sites that I am part of, where I have to write about certain topics and put on a front. Let's show my flaws, let's show my true colours. In this blog, I will confront the personal hurdles that I have found and tell you the ways I overcame them. I will tell you of key events in my life that I have found changed the direction of my life, and my thoughts about them. Most of all, I want to share my thoughts. I want to show you an insight into my life through my ideas and memories which I feel have shaped me in becoming who I am today.

I hope that by sharing more about myself, in turn, you will be able to learn about yourselves.


Thank you for the support as always,

Yours,


Thursday, 13 April 2017

Being Alone



Currently, I am sat on the top deck of a cruise liner. There are many young Spanish students my age all around me, either splashing about in the pool, or at the bar ordering cocktails. As for me, however, I am sat alone, at a five-seater table, surrounded by nothing but my Spanish exercise books. Sounds lonely, right? Incorrect. I am perfectly content, and let me tell you why.

I have always felt that there is a stigma about being seen alone, especially in a public place such as this. Onlookers may assume that I may have no friends, or something along those lines. This is a perfectly natural thought to have, as I myself have often found myself conuring up some similar extravagant theories when I see an old man sat by himself in a bar. All of my imagined stories have the common theme that this poor, lonely guy must be heartbroken and left alone. But am I right in assuming that his wife left him and that he now spends his long days drinking his problems away? Fo course not. He is perhaps having a celebratory drink because she left him. Ha. Anyway, my point is, one should avoid assuming that a person who is alone is obviously lonely.

Indeed, someone may voluntarily choose to be alone. I recall discussing with some friends of mine their activities that one might enjoy doing alone. Watching Netflix alone in one's room? Of course, this isn't anything out of the ordinary. Reading a book in a local coffee shop all day long? Yes! How mysterious and intriguing. Going to the cinema alone?... I personally disagreed with this one, as I felt cinemas were solely for awkward first dates when a couple didn't know what to say to each other, but my friend argued that when she went to the cinema alone, she thoroughly enjoyed herself as she was able to laugh as loudly as she wanted to without the fear of being judged by anyone but strangers she would never see again.

Being content in our own company appears to be the way to true happiness. I can place my hand on my heart and say that I am my own best friend. I do not feel the need for constant interaction, as I am perfectly content in my own company. It also takes a degree of confidence to go out and be seen enjoying oneself alone, such as queuing up for the cinema (a level of confidence I have not yet achieved).

So as I sit here, getting pitying looks from the passersby, I just smile. Yes, I am happy. Although I am alone, in no way am I lonely. 

Saturday, 25 March 2017

Are they nice?



How can you ask such a question?

Can anyone be simplified to a yes or no answer?

Of course not. Not in a million years could a person be summed up in a yes or no question. It is all purely subjective, depending on the person who is answering the question, how well they know them, and their multitude or lack or experiences with that said person. How can anyone be summed up by another person? Who are they to judge?

My friend asked me this question the other day. And I replied the exact same way as I have transcribed above.

I looked back at him and wondered. Could we describe the stars as 'nice', or the twinkle in the eyes of the person you love, or even the sound of a fresh stream on a summer's evening? Are those things just nice to you?

I looked back at him and smiled. Nobody knows a person as well as they know themselves. There is so much poetry out there, saying how your soulmate will know you better than you know yourself etc, but it's all just poetry. Poetry is there to make you feel something. To provoke an emotion out of you, whether it be of happiness or of sadness. It is not real.

I'm such a strong believer in loving yourself before loving anyone else. At the moment, I'm feeling lost. I'm loving, but I am so caught up in loving others that I have come to neglect the most important person: myself. No, this is in no ways selfish. Loving yourself should be the priority. In the end, you only have you. No matter how much love you have given out and how many people are around you and 'there' for you, it is only ever you who can truly help yourself out of whatever situation you have found yourself in. You must thus know yourself enough to know how to get yourself to where you want to be.

It must be 'nice' to know someone as well as they know themselves. It must be 'nice' knowing someone the way the poetry books describe. It must be 'nice' knowing how their beautiful mind works, or the reason why they smile when they see pink cherry blossoms, or why they plait one strand of hair occasionally, just to let it loose a few days later. It must be 'nice' to fall in love with someone, whether it be romantically or platonically. It must be nice to sit in a room with someone in complete silence and just vibe with them. That must be nice.

And so one final time, I looked at him and took a deep breath in.

"I cannot answer your question." I replied

"But maybe, if you get to know her, who'll realise she is so much more than a yes or no answer."

Sunday, 4 December 2016

A Picture of Dorian Gray



This hits hard right now. Thought I'd share it with you as a little reminder of how fleeting time really is.

"When your youth goes, your beauty will go with it, and then you will suddenly discover that there are no triumphs left for you, or have to content yourself with those mean triumphs that the memory of your past will make more bitter than defeats. Every month as it wanes brings you nearer to something dreadful. Time is jealous of you, and wars against your lilies and your roses. You will become sallow, and hollow-cheeked, and dull-eyed. You will suffer horribly.... Ah! realize your youth while you have it. Don't squander the gold of your days, listening to the tedious, trying to improve the hopeless failure, or giving away your life to the ignorant, the common, and the vulgar. These are the sickly aims, the false ideals, of our age. Live! Live the wonderful life that is in you! Let nothing be lost upon you. Be always searching for new sensations. Be afraid of nothing. . . . A new Hedonism -- that is what our century wants. You might be its visible symbol."

Tuesday, 29 November 2016

My 19th Birthday



I can't believe it. I'm nineteen. It all seems surreal. I feel so old, yet I can already hear future me laughing at myself thinking that I deem nineteen as 'old'. For me it's the last years of teenagehood, so it's quite a big thing.

I am ever to lucky to have an amazing boyfriend who came up from Exeter to visit me. He stayed over the weekend until Thursday, so I managed to spend a lot of time with him before as well as after my birthday. But this is all frivolous - let's get to the big day. 

On Tuesday morning, I awoke with the curtains being opened and the morning sunlight caressing my face. It wasn't hard to encourage me to get up - I was way too excited to stay in bed and rest. I quickly showered whilst Adam*got everything ready. When I came out, Adam had all my presents laid out on the bed. I can't even describe my excitement. As people who know me know, I am obsessed with pandas and the majority of my presents were panda themed. They ranged from panda mugs, to panda face masks to a panda onesie! I can now cuddle my bubby and we can be two pandas together. Who could tell who is the real panda?!

Fortunately, and rather coincidentally, my lectures were cancelled and I only had to attend one seminar that day. Classes finished at 3pm and I had a few hours of napping before having to get ready. Adam had tried so long to keep my birthday surprise a secret, however just the day before, his mother called up and accidentally spilled the beans on where he was taking me as she got the dates mixed up.

'How was the ballet?'

When I first heard this I started laughing. Crazy laughing. I just looked over at Adam and laughed some more. I knew he could never keep anything from me.

I wore my long, navy blue Topshop dress. I guess it's my go-to for all nice social occasions. I paired it with my black choker, my black high heels, and I wore the eye shadow Everly* got me for my birthday. Adam wore a classic black suit which he looked dashing in.

Before the ballet, Adam took me to The Cube in Birmingham. It is a Marco Pierre White restaurant, with 25 floors and the most beautiful aesthetics. We got a table with a view, which cost Adam £10 alone. I personally wouldn't have spent that much, but then again when you see the view over Birmingham on a clear night as it was, one may waiver. The service provided was outstanding, as one would expect it to be, as was the food. I ordered a 10oz Sirloin steak, topped with escargot in garlic and butter sauce. Adam got Mushroom Risotto which was apparently delicious. For dessert, I ordered New York Baked Cheesecake with Fresh Strawberries and Adam got Mr. Coulson's Sticky Toffee Pudding. Additionally, our waitress brought out a complimentary brownie with 'Happy Birthday' written in dark chocolate on the place for me. It was a lovely surprise and I feel that it's the little things like that which make the whole experience a whole lot more enjoyable.

Time flew by at the restaurant. The atmosphere was really relaxing, and before we knew it, two and a half hours had gone passed and if we didn't rush we would have been late for the performance. Adam started dragging me, but ended up carrying me the majority of the way between The Cube and the Hippodrome. We had to run through backstreets, cross motorways, but somehow we managed to get to the ballet on time!

It was our first time seeing a ballet performance and it was such an amazing experience. We saw the Nutcracker, a timeless classic, which we greatly enjoyed. We sat on the balcony, which for me was an advantage since it meant that we could observe the entire stage as well as the orchestra below. The story of the ballet, if one could say ballets ever have storylines, was that a magician came to a Christmas do, and gave one of the girls, Louise, a nutcracker toy. She loved it so much that she spent her night holding her nutcracker under the Christmas tree, but it soon turned into a magical world where she shrunk and danced with all the toys. The transitions between each scene were very smooth and I loved the way a character's emotions were expressed through their actions. I came out feeling awakened, and wishing that I too could dance like them.

All in all, I had a perfect birthday. Thank you to everyone who was there for me on my special day and sent me birthday wishes.





All names in this blog are fake in order to ensure the privacy of my friends and conceal their identities. However, the characters are all real people and the events actually happened

Saturday, 12 November 2016

My First Football Match - Derby x Wolves



I was never really that interested in football. Not that I didn't enjoy the sport, or watching 22 sweaty men run around a ball, but my family were never really into it so neither was I. However, I love to try out new things, and on Saturday, I went to the football for the first time.

My friend Steve* is an avid Derby fan. I think that he's supported the Rams since he was four, and from spending time with him I got enthralled by his enthusiasm and passion for the sport. One day, he noticed that Derby was playing an away game against Wolverhampton, and as it is relatively close to our university, we thought it a good idea to go!

After a, let's say, "heavy" night out in Leamington Spa, we pulled ourselves out of our (separate) beds and got the bus, then train, to Wolverhampton. The journey was cheap for the both of us - £4 on the bus return, and £4 for the train. What shocked me the most when we got off the train was how cold it was. In my stupidity, I thought it would be best to dress fashionably rather than sensibility, and I ended up shivering all the way to the stadium. Steve gave me his Derby scarf which did help considerably, as well as make me look a little more integrated into the crowd in which we became part of. 

We got tickets for the front bench and were therefore able to see the action up close. I feel like we both appreciated this since we're both kinda blind anyway (especially me, whose eyesight is so terrible nowadays...anyway, I digress). Before the game started, I flipped through the program Steve kindly bought for me. It was apparently the best design he'd ever seen and it now holds a position within my memory box. The game soon began, and it was off.

To begin with, I didn't really understand what was going on. Steve and the men behind us started chanting and I bobbed along to try and not seem too out of place. However, after the first goal from Derby (they ended up scoring two goals in the first half - something of a rarity for this season) I became really into it. Well, as into it as I could have been when my toes were glacials. I started recognising the songs that the crowd were singing and bobbed along in time, and cheered my favourite Derby player - Will Hughes, obviously. 

All in all, I really enjoyed myself. Derby won 3-2 against Wolves and Steve and I returned to Uni in good spirits. I would love to see another game one day, but next time I'll be sure to wear a few more layers.





All names in this blog are fake in order to ensure the privacy of my friends and conceal their identities. However, the characters are all real people and the events actually happened

Sunday, 6 November 2016

A Series of Unfortunate Events



For Everly*

Not sure why but Everly has never really come out partying with us. It's either been the excuse of Volleyball or the fact that she's overwhelmed with work. Both of which are lies, because why would one ever spend £9,000 to get active and work towards a first? Nevertheless, this Friday, Everly decided it was time to finally push the boat out and come to Everly for Steve's pre, pre-birthday celebrations.

For these pre, pre birthday celebrations, one of Steve's friends came up. By car.

This is a big thing because since coming to uni, I've had to struggle with the use of public transport and walking everywhere. Therefore, having someone who not only had a car but was willing to drive us places was a massive bonus.

Before going out to Steve's pre, pre-birthday celebrations, we decided to top up on alcohol. To do so, Steve's friend drove us to the local Tescos. When we arrived, Everly and I automatically got a cart and started food shopping. After all, why not take advantage of the fact we could finally do a big food shop without needing to carry it back?

We spent a solid hour and or so going through each and every aisle picking up whatever took our fancy. I mean, Everly went and got a sick pack of Coke cans - c'mon. After what seemed like a mere five minutes (which, by the way, was probably an hour), the three boys who were sharing the car with us came and stared in utter shock at what we were pushing in front of us.

"NO WAY ARE YOU COMING IN THE CAR WITH ALL THAT".

And with these damning words, the snakes left us to walk home with our cartload full of shopping.

But rest assured, this was only the first of our unfortunate events.

After a bit more shopping and a lot more impulse buying, we arrived at the tills. Everly went first, and beep beep beep. Sorry! No alcohol allowed since EVERLY WENT AND FORGOT HER ID! What was worse was that the cashier girl was younger than us and she had the audacity to tell us that Everly couldn't buy her alcohol, despite having adequate University ID.

This was the second unfortunate event, but there is more to come.

We obviously tried to fight the case but we soon gave up, due to pure lack of effort in fighting with a bloody minor. It was now my turn to go through with my copious amounts of food and alcohol. But alas!! Because I was seen as more than an acquaintance with Everly I wasn't allowed to buy my alcohol even though I had my ID with me.

WOE WOE WOE.

For the fourth unfortunate event in the series of unfortunate events, we had to carry about 10kg of food in our bags for more than 10 mins in the freezing cold. I was only wearing a t-shirt, which wasn't the wisest of my ideas, and one of Everly's bags broke on the way back, so we ended up on the floor sobbing surrounded by food and no alcohol.

What a way to start a Friday night out.




All names in this blog are fake in order to ensure the privacy of my friends and conceal their identities. However, the characters are all real people and the events actually happened

Saturday, 8 October 2016

First Week at Warwick

Felix thought it would be funny to do this to my room


I can confirm that university life is everything that I expected it to be. The parties, the friends, the buzz that surrounds you every minute of every day. A minuscule fraction of my time here has passed, but I know for certain that this will be an unforgettable experience.

Before arriving at Warwick, I had to write a short description of myself. It had to include one's bedtimes, our interests, and our preferences. I mentioned that if I was allocated a shared room, I'd wish to be in Sherborne rather than Roots, (as the price difference for shared and single in Roots was marginal). My only other requests were that I was put in a fairly quiet area and that I was away from the kitchen so that I didn't get any bad smells. And where was I put? In a shared accommodation in Roots, right next to the kitchen and where predrinks starts at 5pm and the sesh ends at 6am. Pretty decent.

Nevertheless, I love living in halls and I am settling in well. I share a room with a lovely Romanian girl and we get on really well. Sharing, despite the rumours, is not as bad as it seems. It is in some ways better, as you're nearly always guaranteed a friend, and the rooms are massive. I'm not too sure whether this is the case with other universities, but due to the fact that I share a room, I get the privilege of having an en suite - something which is a massive bonus when you don't wish your flatmates to see you crawl out of bed at 4am in your panda pyjamas.

On my first night here, I went to an MTV event held at the Students' Union. It was great fun, and an amazing way to bond with my new flatmates. We danced to some classic 'bangers' and I made the rookie mistake of taking my card with me. Drinks were flowing, hips were grinding, and we were all having a blast. When I stumbled back into my room at the hour of 3am, I saw two shapes in the bed next to me. I discovered that my roommate was with a boy, but plot twist - they weren't doing anything! Fully clothed, whispering sweet nothings to each other. Their muffled voices kept me up so I went to see my friend who lived opposite me for a while, and only returned when I heard a door shut from the adjacent room (my room). And so, as silent as a mouse, I crept back into my room...only to find the boy was now sleeping in my bed! I had no idea what to do, as I didn't have the guts to push him off nor wake him up, so I slid into bed with him. Hello, I'm Mélissa and on my first night of Freshers', I slept with a stranger! Even worse, when I woke up, I found him spooning me. No idea how that came about. At about 9am he got up, looked at me, smiled, and handed me his phone to add myself on his Facebook. I soon learnt that this was not going to be the most bizarre events I encountered at university. 

Anyway, overall my first week has been a success. Steven* is my neighbour which is great as he too is from Bournemouth. Despite the love of freedom and being away from 'home', I do also like having that kind of grounding and to be able to reminisce about Bournemouth's lil quirks with someone whilst I'm here. In a way, it enables me to not feel homesick. My other flatmates are a great bunch of lively individuals and although are all very different from each other, we have become so close that I genuinely feel like I've known them all my life. Very cliché, I know. No arguments as of yet, and I pray I haven't jinxed this now. But I'll keep you updated.




All names in this blog are fake in order to ensure the privacy of my friends and conceal their identities. However, the characters are all real people and the events actually happened

Tuesday, 27 September 2016

Trump vs Hilary Debate

Okay so my parents and I were really pumped for the first debate and we decided to stay up until 2am to watch it live. To keep myself up, I drunk some coffee, and watched a film called 'L'auberge Espagnole' which was recommended to me by Stephen*. It's really engaging and I'd recommend it to anyone studying or interested in both French and Spanish.

Anyway, midnight approaches. I hear some embarrassed shuffling in the hallway and what do I see but my parents both getting ready for bed! Apparently they couldn't handle the late night - fair enough since they normally go to bed at 10pm and not a minute later.

So it ended up just being me staying up! After scrolling through my social media feeds a thousand and one times, the clock dragged its arms to a whooping 1:30am. I was ready to get up and go downstairs to watch the show on television but thank the Lord amen I had the bright idea of seeing if I could stream the debate on my laptop, and I could! Success!

This meant that I was able to lie on my side, on my laptop, watching the debate whilst cuddled up in bed. I saw Lester Holt from NBC Nightly News give a warm welcome to the crowd, and after a few house keeping rules, the camera only filmed the audience getting ready. By this time, it was about five minutes to two. My eyelids were awfully heavy, and I thought, 'why not take a quick five minute power nap?'. AND I FELL ASLEEP. I WAS SO STRONG FOR SO LONG BUT THEN I WAS WEAK AND GAVE INTO THE POWER OF SLEEP. I'M SO ANGRY AT MYSELF.

Anyway, I'm pretty upset and since I stayed up so late I wasn't able to wake up in time to catch it again when it was broadcast at 8am the next day. All I have to satisfy myself are some pretty dench memes circulating at the moment on Facebook. Not the best compromise, but that'll do, Donkey. That'll do.





All names in this blog are fake in order to ensure the privacy of my friends and conceal their identities. However, the characters are all real people and the events actually happened

Sunday, 25 September 2016

Going Braless



Although I'm all for the feminist movement of 'burn your bra', my decision to not wear a bra was not associated with it. Instead, it came about quite gradually and naturally. Nowadays, I currently feel comfortable within my own skin and no longer feel the need to wear one.

One of the few reasons why I used to wear a bra was because, well, I never really had the smart idea not to do so. It sounds quite silly when I type it out, but it's true. Once hitting puberty, I thought that it was necessary for girls to wear a bra. In Year 7, I would come out of compulsory swimming lessons and see all the girls around me in the changing rooms putting on bras. In a way, it made me ashamed that I did not wear one, even though I had nothing to fill it with. Soon after, I begged my parents to buy me a bra from Primark. It was a 28AA padded bra and had little pink monkeys on it, and it soon became my prize possession. I am naturally quite skinny, so this would add some shape to me, and it gave me a bit more confidence. In all honesty, it didn't serve any purpose other that to make me feel better about myself. I think it helped me identify with the girls around me a lot more, and I felt older wearing a bra. However, as I previously mentioned, it served no purpose whatsoever.

As I grew older, I started going out partying more. And when there are parties, there are boys. As my friends became shapelier and filled out in the right places to fill out, I stayed my 5"3 and still as flat as an ironing board. This resulted in the only rational decision I thought fit - to wear more padded bras. I still have some embarrassingly padded bras in my cupboard, some of which don't even touch my boob when I put them on. Nevertheless, it was normal for me to wear these oversized bras, and I used to exchange some tips and tricks with other small-chested girls in order to try and get the nice sized breasts we all wanted. In hindsight, it was all ridiculous. I didn't like my body, and I tried everything possible to try and change it into something it was not.

It was only this summer that my mental attitude towards wearing bras changed. Recently, it has been popular amongst my generation to wear 'bralettes'. These bras aren't usually padded, do not contain underwires, and are aimed at small chested girls. They're all so pretty and cute and many girls deliberately wear revealing tops just to have some of their bralette's lace peeking through. When Adam* got me my first Calvin Klein underwear, he also revealed to me the world of bralettes. At first, I was crazily insecure without wearing a bra, but I also liked the idea wearing such adorable underwear! I began wearing bralettes with big baggy tops, in order that people wouldn't notice my sudden lack of 'oomfph' in the chest area, but then as I gradually became more confident, I started wearing bralettes with tighter fitting tops.

The big step came when summer arrived. I was away from my friends, away from boys, and with no real need to wear a bra. I'd either be in my bikini, or in something casual that I could throw on between going from the apartment to the beach. I realised how comfortable and more at ease I was without wearing a bra, and learnt to embrace the sensation of freedom. I no longer felt pressured by society, or by myself to look a certain way as I was on holiday, in a place where nobody knew my name or even cared what I looked like. I became a lot less harsh on myself too, and began to truly love myself for who I was instead of comparing myself to other people. I feel that the transaction from over-padded bras to no bras at all was also made a lot easier due to my new-found love of meditation - something I will go into at a later date.

So as I began to love my body for what it was, I began to forget about wearing bras. Not wearing a bra isn't just a 'oh I can't be bothered today' or a 'I'm not going anywhere special' kind of thing, it now just feels normal to not wear a bra. I can wear the exact same clothing as I used to wear, and feel comfortable with my flatter chest. I'm aware that some girls reading this post may be concerned about the infamous 'nipple slip' or nipples poking through a t-shirt, but in all honesty, who cares? Most guys find it sexy, but if you have a chest as small as mine, they honestly never show so there's nothing to worry about. My only advice is that there's a time and a place for nipples. They're cool for nights out but perhaps not quite so appropriate for dinner with Nanny or an interview at your dream job!

Anyway! I think this sums up my little journey. I hope that this will enable to give other girls confidence to not wear bras if they so please, and that whatever your size, you love yourself for who you are!


Saturday, 17 September 2016

Angry Jealous Wife Sacks Young Au Pair



When choosing the title of this intriguing incident, Mumma suggested I put "young attractive au pair" but I didn't want to seem conceited...

As you may have guessed, I am that unfortunate, or perhaps fortunate, young au pair who was fired.  I'm 18 and a half and can already say that I've been fired from a job! What an achievement at such a young age.
I have already made a post about some of my time au pairing which you can find if you follow this link. However, to summarise, I had been employed by a French couple to teach their eldest son English and to babysit him and his two younger brothers for around 3 hours per day. This included a couple of evenings when the parents went out.

When I heard of this opportunity, I jumped at it. It sounded like the perfect work experience I needed. I am currently an undergraduate studying French and therefore welcomed all the practice I could get, and living with a host family would seem a perfect opportunity to truly immerse myself into French culture. I had also previously tutored a French girl to speak English,  and had a lot of experience looking after children.  My aunt, who told me about the job, also informed me that they were a very nice Jewish family and assured me that I would have a lovely time.

I was soon in contact with Madame* and emailed her about the job. They planned to go from their home near Paris, down to St. Raphaël, and then back up to Paris.  I was to accompany them all the way. The verbal agreement was to start from the beginning of August until September (ideally until the end of September to then take the children to and from school). Both parties agreed on the matter, and the sum of 500€ was settled for the month's work.

A few weeks passed and my parents were able to finalise their own holiday plans. The idea was to drive me to Paris, drop me off at the family's house,  and then for them to drive down to our place near Perpignan. Due to travel costs, it was more convenient if I were to start my job a week earlier. I requested an earlier start, and Madame welcomed this as the elder son was returning from summer camp at the same time.
On the Tuesday night, my parents and I arrived in Paris and a couple of hours later we went to my host's home for aperitifs. We were greeted very warmly by the parents. Monsieur was a stocky man in his mid-40s with a bald head and little round rimless glasses which sat high up on his nose. He had a loud, contagious laugh and was a very attentive host. Madame was very petite and delicate with a thin smile which never really stretched to her eyes. That first night, we all sat out on the terrace and talked about the matters of the world. The language we spoke was on the whole Franglais. Madame was a keen English speaker but occasionally forgot one or two words, and vice versa with my parents (although for them they knew one or two words and forgot a lot of French!). Madame also promised my parents how she would give me a tour of Paris before leaving to go to St. Raphaël. A quick tour of the Louvre, or perhaps a ride at  Disneyland? It all sounded amazing. We seem to get along very well together and Madame suggested I slept round immediately, however I declined her kind offer as I wanted to spend one last night with my parents before leaving them for 6 weeks.

Early the next morning I was dragging my five ton suitcase up their stairs and into the bedroom which was going to be mine for the next two weeks. After settling in, Madame and I drove to a station in Paris to pick up Adrian*, who had been banished on summer camp for 3 weeks. During the drive Madame and I spoke a lot. We shared many common interests and laughed a lot. Madame and I spoke a lot of English to each other, and I helped her learn a copious amount of English phrases. She carefully noted down what I introduced to her and by the end of my time, she had a huge Word document on her phone! She kept telling me how thankful she was to have found me, telling me that I would be a perfect influence on her boys.
Adrian, aged 12, seemed like a typical pre-teens boy. He replied in grunts and seemed more interested in his iPod than anything else. I understood exactly how he felt and told Madame how I used to be the same, but she refused to believe me, saying she couldn't imagine such behaviour from me. Ha. Ha.

The next five days I spent alone with Adrian as the parents went to work. In the mornings I would make his breakfast, play fun games with him and taught him songs like "Head, shoulders knees and toes" to help him practise his vocabulary. For lunch, I'd prepare our meals which he enjoyed even though they mainly consisted of hamburgers and pasta. In the afternoons, we'd play a sport such as table tennis or take a walk in the park. When the parents returned in the evenings I would set up the dinner table ready for the evening meal. Monsieur would always go to great lengths to prepare delicious three-course meals. Over dinner I would hold polite conversation and discuss Adrian's progress in English. His process in English pleased them a lot.

After that first week the two younger sons returned from their grandparents' home, where they too had been banished for the past 3 weeks. The parents had told me how it would get a lot noiser once the three boys were back together again and I can assure you that their prediction was correct! After a few hours of getting used to my company, the three boys treated me as one of their fellow play mates, tackling me to the ground and being very boisterous. It was all light hearted, and all good fun at this stage of my employment.
The first weekend with the whole family together was quite enjoyable. Monsieur suggested that we went to the Louvre, as previously suggested the first night, but unfortunately Madame just wanted to have a picnic at the Jardin du Luxembourg. It was a very close day - both in temperate and tension. It was the first day I saw Madame truly lose her temper at Adrian who had accidentally left a backpack in the park. Although I understood her frustration, I felt her anger was humiliating and unnecessary considering the circumstances. She later apologised to me for allowing me to view such a "personal" matter.

The next week was spent with the Father and the three boys. I continued my hourly lessons with Adrian, and spent the rest of my time playing games with the boys. Over the weekend I quickly learnt the characters of each of the boys: Adrian the eldest, influenced the other two and showed visible signs of teen-moodiness. George, 9, the middle one was the most wronged,  and screamed continuously for attention (his Mother even told me there were spots in his voice box due to the strain...so you can imagine how loudly he screamed). The youngest and cutest, Timothy, aged 6, was arguably the most manipulative. His big blue eyes and gappy smile fooled everyone and got all he wanted - and he knew his power. One injustice towards him and he'd burst into tears and a second later he'd get his way. Useful tactic, really.

On the 6th of August, we all travelled down to St. Raphaël by train. It was a hard task keeping the boys under control, but somehow it was managed. Whilst travelling, I often pitied Monsieur who had to carry the family's two massive suitcases and rucksacks whilst Madame strolled leisurely around with a rolling valise. I would often rush to Monsieur's side and helped him up the stairs whilst Madame would just wait impatiently at the top, snapping at him to hurry up. When spending more time with the family at St. Raphaël, I learnt a lot about families, especially the dynamics between my host family. All of which I'll reveal later.
In the two weeks I was at St. Raphaël, my daily routine was quite repetitive and monotonous:

8: wake up and exercise in my room
8:30: breakfast
9: go down to the beach after Monsieur would text me, where he would have set the towels and umbrella out, and I would wait for the family to wake up
10: family came down, minus Madame who would come later as she preferred to stay in bed
12: lunch at the apartment
13: teach the boys English (somehow since moving to St. Raphaël I was then responsible to teach not only Adrian, but also the two other boys English. A task somewhat difficult as they all wanted my attention at the same time and to get it they ended up pulling on my clothes, my hair, or screaming in my ear until attention was given.)
17: going down to the beach
20: dinner!
21: playing card games with the children
23: bedtime

I spent a lot of time playing with the children on the beach, which I didn't mind at all as it meant I got a pretty awesome tan. Everyday maybe twice a day, I would walk the length of the shore with either one or all three of the boys. We would talk and joke a lot, and we all became very close. Adrian told me about the family's last au pair, one of their neighbours, who the parents absolutely hated. The girl apparently didn't spend any time with the children, and treated the whole experience as a holiday. Adrian said how the parents weren't impressed at all with her behaviour,  but had to pay her as she was their neighbour and couldn't really do anything about it. However, I was pleasantly pleased when Adrian said that the parents loved me, especially the fact I spoke English!

Spending so much time with the family really enabled me to experience some peculiar incidences during my stay. As an employee, I couldn't comment, but I could observe. I soon realised that neither parent had any control over the children, and that shouting at them would have no effect on them as they would just laugh in their parents' faces. The children's language and behaviour shocked me, but I assumed that it was just growing up. I hoped, for the parents' sake, that they'd be more disciplined when they were older. However, I think one of the weirdest things I observed was the way in which Madame treated Monsieur. It was like something from American Sitcoms - whilst Monsieur would comically carry all bags, do all the household chores, and cook a three course meal twice a day, Madame would sit down and command everything from afar. If the water was a little out of her reach, she would tell (not ask!) Monsieur to get it for her. No please, no thank you. At first I thought that she may have just been having a bad day, but that bad day became a bad week and a bad month. Whenever the children needed,  say, someone to cut their food up for them, even if she was right next to them, she would ask her husband to stop whatever he was doing,  and cut the child's food up for them. Sometimes it became so ridiculous that I got up myself to cut and feed the children, in order to allow Monsieur to continue whatever he was doing in the kitchen. Continuing with the food talk, I once heard a huge clank coming from the kitchen. It sounded like Monsieur had dropped a casserole or something, and I turned to Madame asking if we should go check if he was okay. She took a very blazé attitude, but seeing my concern, she told me I could go check up on him to see if he needed help. It was times like these where her lack of concern for her husband shocked me.

Similarly, she seemed to treat him with ill disguised contempt. When at the beach, she would scream and shout at him to change the position of the umbrella if her little toe was not in the shade, she would publicly call him a bad father if he forgot to put suncream on the children, or she just snapped at him for no apparent reason. I witnessed all of this, and would help Monsieur whenever I could to ease his workload. He seemed to appreciate my help, and would thank me for my efforts.

In my mind, I was doing what the family expected of me. I would even go as far as saying that I went over and above their expectations, as I would not only do the duties required of me, but anything else that seemed helpful. I would lay and clear up the table, I would feed the children, I would shower them, play with them, tidy up after them, and by the end I was not only teaching the children English, but French aswell. Therefore, it came as a shock when they decided to fire me.

One day, I woke up and went to the kitchen as usual and was shocked to find both Monsieur and Madame in there. It was common to see Monsieur in the kitchen, where we would talk and have breakfast together, but I knew something was wrong when Madame, the late riser, was also awake. That previous night, they had left me alone with the children, so I tried to make casual conversation about their night out, until Madame interrupted me, asking me why there were three dishes on the draining board and if I thought that it was her responsibility to put them away. Her tone was harsh, so I shut up. She continued on by saying how the lights were left on, and that she found the freezer door wide open and that the kids' bathroom was a mess. I apologised for all of these, especially the freezer door as I remembered that the night before I had allowed Timothy to get himself another ice-cream without my supervision. Madame, who was the only one to talk the whole time, then told me that she found it so bad that she didn't wish to keep me on any longer as it could only get worse. I must admit to being quite taken aback, since all I got from her and her husband were compliments on my behaviour and I did not understand how this mistake had warrantied such a harsh decision. When my Father called her to discuss my immediate dismissal, he asked for more reasons why I was fired. She seemed physically affected by the question, shaking and nervously looking at her husband, and stammered out that I never helped with laying out the table, that I never played with the children,  and never spent 3 hours a day with them. This, out of everything,  shocked me the most as they were such outrageous lies. Nevertheless, after a long discussion, the agreement we came to (or shall I say, what she told me what would happen), was that I was to be send back to my parents' home that very day. Madame later informed me that she had also not told the children the truth as it would have been too "traumatising" for them, and instead she told them that my dad was dying!

However,  what surprised me most of all was the fact that Monsieur and Madame made me write  a contract after I had carried out the work. Something I'm pretty sure is illegal in France. Both husband and wife being lawyers undoubtedly knew this. The dates were wrong, and they paid me only for the weeks spent at St. Raphaël as I apparently had "volunteered" to come earlier. They also said that I did not work during this period as Monsieur was there the majority of the time - a comment they later went back on, saying that I only worked in Paris.

The suspicious circumstances under which the family fired me raised many queries. My aunt was especially surprised since when they saw the family before going to St. Raphaël, they told my aunt that I was a God send and the best au pair the could have found. Dad suggested that my relationship with Monsieur was a bit more friendly than Madame would have liked. Mum suggested that the family found a new au pair who could work throughout September, whereas I had to leave awkwardly around the start of the month. I suspect I was just an awful au pair.




All names in this blog are fake in order to ensure the privacy of my friends and conceal their identities. However, the characters are all real people and the events actually happened